In Full Bloom: An Introduction to pami

“I love that I ended up here,” Pamiga Sooksawee, now more known in her music moniker pami, shares without hesitation.

The elements of music are often understood as melody, which creates memorable sequences of notes; harmony, which evokes emotion; rhythm, which brings a sense of movement and energy; and lyrics, which resonate with listeners. For the 27-year-old rising music sensation the most important element is the art of having you in it. Hers is a story of departures and arrivals, perfect timings in the face of upheavals, and roads less traveled to bring her to that place she’s always wanted to be in, a fully realized version of pami.

Following a hiatus that eventually led to a rediscovery of her sound, artistry, and her person, pami has since released music that pretty much details her present state of mind. The narrativity of space in latest track, “Covent Garden”, detailing an iconic place in London that played host to a chance encounter, shows not just the ebbs and flows of human interactions and relationships but also the impermanence of time—told in a soulful, enchanting track that soothes.

“The night we spent in that place was so unforgettable that I had to write a song about it. It was full of jokes and joy. Our moment occurred in such a short time, like smoke that vanished but still lingers in your nose,” she shares in a press statement.

London, however, is not just a backdrop to this fresh track release. It is, in many ways, a conduit to this change in her perspective as an artist and as an individual, now with a firm grasp of her sense of self.

Taking a bold step to kick start her career, pami broke into international prominence following a stint in the Chinese survival show The Coming One 3 in 2019. The following year, she debuted as a member of the Chinese girl group SIS, which later parted ways. On a cursory search, this career path is as common as one would see any artist, or any protagonist in any origin story we love: a hopeful start, an unexpected halt, leading to a beautiful renaissance.

From a young age, she would jump from one career plan to the next, but if there’s anything that she remained grounded in, it’s her love for singing. It took her almost three years in the midst of the world’s unprecedented stop because of the pandemic that she got to focus on herself and had a dialogue that would later on egg her to further pursue her passion.

“When I was young, I loved singing so much. I would [join] school contests and competitions about singing until about high school. [But then], at that time, I thought I won’t make it if I would make it as a career. [I told myself] I should just make it as a hobby and do something that’s more [concrete]. My family was like that too, they would tell me not to make it a career, they would say, ‘It’s not stable’,” she opens up tracing her beginnings leading to an unexpected detour.

“At around 18 years old, I wanted to go to London to enter London’s College of Arts (London University of the Arts), because I wanted to be a stylist when I was young. My sister was a fashion designer and so I wanted to learn something like that, too. Instead, I was signed into a company when I was 18 and became a singer.”

“The period of my hiatus is actually before I went to London. It was almost like a three years’ time that I spend time on my own, doing something that’s not related to music at all. But after that, I just realized that I cannot give up my music career because I have so much passion about singing and songs.”

From passing a chance audition that would lead her to becoming a signed artist under GMM Grammy in her formative years that then opened up a road to acting, to an abrupt stop brought by the pandemic a month into their group debut, to a moment of pause and self-exploration in a foreign land, to becoming the artist that she is now, pami’s personal history is marked by unlikely turns that led to a triumph in introspection.

During her time in London, she immersed herself in music, which became the inspiration for her single “covent garden.” She reflects, “I went to London to learn music: music production, songwriting, and also singing. During that time, it was all about learning the culture, the music and everything but somehow, I didn’t expect that I would experience love, too.” She adds, “Who would’ve thought that it was going to be something like that, romantic and everything? It’s just a night I cannot forget.”

“covent garden” was released in July on Spotify under JUICEY, narrating an encounter with a guy on a rainy night that felt like it froze time for her while she was in Covent Garden, London. Not long after, a music video on YouTube followed suit. She highlights, “‘covent garden’ just led me here, and it was unexpected for me.”

“I didn’t have a plan before on what I’m going to release, and which songs to write. When I wrote ‘covent garden’, it just came to my mind that I wanted to keep it as something that I could go back to and look at again because that moment and that night was just in my mind all the time so I had to write it out. Somehow, it turned into this song.”

Months prior, she released an EP titled “out of nowhere” on May 21, 2024, featuring a collection of six songs, she describes to start normally as recordings ‘on her phone with her mouth’ detailing her states of mind and emotions, including one she feels best represents her—“your way.” With a smile, she says, “It’s the realest song I’ve ever written and it’s not even about love. It’s a song I’ve written for my dad. It’s about family.”

Looking at her now, bright and bubbly with a quiet intensity, depth and newfound clarity to her command of her creative vision and musical language, it goes without saying that pami’s songwriting process, now, is being run by pami. 

For one, it isn’t forced; she writes when inspiration strikes, often at random moments, and treasures it as something she can reflect on later. “I like to write songs based on my true stories or what I actually feel. I have to really feel it to write songs. So, when I don’t feel anything, I have no songs. That’s like the hardest process for me.” With this, she finds joy when listeners connect with her music and makes her story part of a shared narrative and experience with her listeners.

At the core of who she is, though, pami is a songwriter and a storyteller first. She relates, “The best part is [having to] let it all out. After I finish writing a song, and I look at it, I would go, ‘Did i just write that?!’. And then I would feel so happy because I cannot wait for other people to listen to it and be ‘Oh my god, I feel the same way too.’ But the worst part is after I finish writing it too because of all the expectations. I would feel like, ‘Is this song going to be a hit?’ ‘Are other people going to understand it?” 

She talks about the tail-end of each writing journey, “Then there would be times when someone would comment ‘This song is not good enough’ or ‘I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.’ I would feel like I have to rewrite it and it’s like a cycle.” “Somehow, so many songwriters suffer from that, too. They would not know how to stop and they would have this feeling that it is not good enough and that is the worst part of creating your own product too because when you create your own thing, you have to hold that weight that not everyone’s going to like your creation. It’s funny but it’s real. The feeling is real.”

In this acceptance, comes a realization, “Not everyone’s going to love my child, but I’ll love them the best. I like my songs, every song. There’s songs that not many people like but I love it so much. That’s the beauty of writing songs that are based on my own story. Because no matter what, it is just a piece of me and I cannot hate it.”

She declares, “My music now is me. That’s the main point. Because before, the songs that i’ve released, I didn’t write. I want to say that my music now is really me, 100% the girl that is really into love, poetry, and daydreaming. My music right now, everything all together as pami.”

With this journey to her sense of self, though, pami understands that it could open to a lot of contradictions as understanding one’s self is to know that you are ever-evolving and ever-changing. She opens up, “I really hate the part that I have to say what I am because I am not sure  if I am going to change in the future. Today,  I can be a humble little girl. I can be your bestest ‘lovey’ girl. After that, I can be someone that’s really really mean. I don’t know,” she shares matter-of-factly. 

“To become someone is easier, because you ‘saw’ them and you ‘become’ them. The more I describe who I am, the more that I feel that it’s not me at all. it’s easier to have somebody judge me instead and tell me ‘how i look to you.’”

While pami stays true to herself in her music, she credits her success to collaboration, be it with her best friend, who helps her creatively, who actually directed the accompanying video for “covent garden” or the ecosystem of people who impact her artistry. 

She beams, “Right now, because I went to London and studied music and everything, it helped me a lot when I write songs and now, when I work with music producers it has gotten easier than when I was younger. That time, I would just do everything that everybody would tell me to do so I don’t have any idea how to work or anything at all. I just know how to use my voice and perform but I don’t know how the process works. After I came to London and stayed with this company, it just helped me grow a lot. I learned how to talk to so many people and [I have gotten a clearer background on how everything works.”

It is not without a world of challenges, though. But this is a welcome path that she proactively sought to travel knowing very well she is entering a new phase of her artistry. She shares, “It was so much fun and so tiring at the same time. After I worked into becoming an indie artist, I realized that there’s a lot of things I have to work on outside the music part. I have to decide the look and the art direction, and the music video. We have to do a lot of things but it’s so much fun.”

When asked about the best part of being an artist, pami responds with excitement, “To be on stage. When you perform on stage, nothing compares to that.” 

At the time I sat down with her, it would be days before her performances opening for James Alyn in his Asian tour. At the time of this release, pami will be then set out to more shows with the performer in South Korea, Hong Kong, and Japan in October. This crosses out a creative bucket list of collaborating with artists she admires and a step closer to what she hopes would be doors opening to a creative partnership with Gracie Abrams, soon, her idol, and the one whose songs ‘saved her’.

“Everything just feels so overwhelming for me, the adrenaline rush when you’re onstage and you just finished your performance and when you see the audience. That’s the best feeling ever. Even though I haven’t experienced it as pami and as a solo act yet, I have experienced it as a group and I didn’t want to get off that stage.”

Coming into terms with all facets of being a musician now, more than ever, pami steps into this new phase with the understanding that the landscape of music and the relationship of social media numbers and online reach in measuring success is a game she has to play—but in reconciling with this reality, she knows she still has to have her core intact.

She adds, “I always have that thought that if I am going to write songs exactly the way that these people that go viral, ‘Is it going to get good numbers?’ I have those things in my mind too. But after that, I would ask myself again, ‘If I write it, will I like it?’ And the answer is always, ‘I don’t think I’m going to like it.’ If you [are a songwriter and you] enjoy it, that’s good. [But] if you just write songs and hope that it’s going to be viral, that’s not going to make you feel good, because you cannot hold your expectation at all. Your success is with somebody, not yourself.”

She stands clear of her point, “For me, to write a song, you’d have to come up with how you actually feel towards yourself first. If it’s going to be viral or not, let the audience decide. if they feel that this song deserves more views then ‘Thank you’ or if they say ‘This song is not my style’ then thank you, too. ‘Cause now I understand myself more.”

“Everyone has their own way. These things have always been a discussion throughout my music career. After we release the songs, the number would just be so low and somehow you would feel ‘Should i write songs that would go viral?’ But there’s no guarantee. You’re not sure that everyone’s going to like it, so, at the end of the day, you just have to do you.”